Time to get the Nail Polish Remover out

For a few days now (read: weeks) I have had a routine of getting into the bath, looking at my toes, seeing the peeling nail polish and scolding myself for not removing my chipped nail polish. Every day I tell myself what a terrible woman I am and how ugly it must look and how I wish that I was one of those women who looked after myself better. And I resolve that when I get out of the bath I will go and find the nail polish remover. Every. Day.

Last week I went through the same routine and heard that gentle whisper that only comes from the Holy Spirit that said: Well, obviously it doesn't bother you enough to actually take action and follow through.

It was such a simple thing, but like a lightning bolt it hit me: As I went through my journal of the last 2 years I had noticed week after week the same sins cropping up (mostly comfort-eating), the same action plans to fight it, the same pleading prayers to release me and deliver me from them, the same verses I was writing out to memorise.

Why didn't I conquer those sins in my life? - It obviously didn't bother me enough to take action and follow through.

You see, comfort eating has become my guilty pleasure, my "not-as-bad-as-his-or-hers"-sin. Whenever I want to eat I forget all those grand plans and convince myself that I would resist it the next time and that I "deserve" it. And I grieve the Holy Spirit whom I had begged so many times to help me, by "Shhh!"-ing His still small voice.

So, are there any sins in your life that you are molly-coddling (indulging, pampering, treating).

I am back at square one and trusting God to help me to hate even the small sins in my life enough to actually want Him to change them.

Join me. Time to get out the Nail Polish Remover. 

I want to be a pig...

So, when my husband talks about prospective employees he talks about chickens and pigs. Chickens give a part of themselves (eggs) but Pigs give everything (bacon).

So in the Bible story of Ruth, the Moabite woman who decides to follow her mother in law Naomi to a new country and new faith, Ruth is the pig (bear with me). Orpah is the chicken. She started to follow but was then convinced by Naomi to turn around. Orpah used "wisdom", she did what any of us would do ("God wouldn't want me to suffer") and she listened to the advice she received from those around her, did a risk assesment and decided to stay behind.

To be honest nowhere does it say that she had a bad life because of her choice. She probably had a very good life. But because of her decision to go all the way with God, Ruth received the blessing of a new husband and being in the lineage of Jesus, the Messiah.

In today's terms, Ruth was the "Jesus freak". And she was rewarded.

The point is. I am more often than not Orpah. I want to be Ruth. I want to say: Where You go I'll go, where You stay I'll stay. And mean it.

I want to be a pig.

Discontentment

It was spring, but it was summer I wanted,
the warm days, and the great outdoors.
It was summer, but it was fall I wanted,
the colorful leaves, and the cool, dry air.
It was autumn, but it was winter I wanted,
the beautiful snow, and the joy of the holiday season.
I was a child, but it was adulthood I wanted,
the freedom, and the respect.
I was twenty, but it was thirty I wanted,
to be mature, and sophisticated.
I was middle-aged, but it was thirty I wanted,
the youth, and the free spirit.
I was retired, but it was middle-age that I wanted,
the presence of mind, without limitations.
My life was over,
but I never got what I wanted.

I heard this poem today on "Leading the way" and it made me think and repent about how many times I am discontent even when I get what I wanted. I could be vague and pious and say: "so many times WE are discontent..." 

But no, it's just me. I am discontent even in the midst of such outrageous blessing. Forgive me please Lord. Thank you for all you have done for us! For me...

I was wrong!

She doesn't love me much, my Mommy, No!
She shouts and frowns and tells me off, so,
She punishes me when I do wrong,
And sometimes makes me wait SO long,

But who is that there by my bed?
Tucking me in and stroking my head?
Praying for me while I am asleep
and checking that I am warm while I'M counting sheep

It's Mommy! My Mommy! She DOES love me so!
She whispers: " My big boy, come high or come low,
come shouting, come frowning, come waiting and so,
no matter what happens, I will NEVER let you go."

God and the Dark side...

We have recently spent untold hours watching the Star Wars movies, for the benefit of our son (my husband is a self-confessed addict). I have a natural reticence in letting my son watch these as inevitably he immediately thought that Darth Vader is the coolest "person" ever.

However, I have learnt a lot through this process about being a "relevant" follower of Jesus and (without compromising) learning lessons applicable to my walk with God, even in the Star Wars movie.  I must admit I normally prefer the "head-in-the-sand" approach to these things.

Lessons learnt (so you don't have to endure the 10 odd hours of movie-viewing ;-))

1. Teaching my son about the value of the warnings against pride in the Bible. Pride is a sin and is exactly what drove Anakin a.k.a Darth Vader to become the evil he eventually came to be.  We used this to look at some of the Kings in the Bible (eg. Solomon, Saul, Hezekiah, David, Pharaoh, Nebucadnezzar) who's fall was due to pride;

2. No matter how good we start out in life (Anakin), through our choices we can take the completely wrong road and end up without God for eternity;

3. The opposite of "The Dark Side" is "The Light"- Jesus is The Light.  

John 1:5 International Standard Version (©2008)

And the light shines on in the darkness, and the darkness has never put it out

4.  "The Force" is the Trinity. It moves in us through us and is in everything around us.

5.  Chewbacca is representative of the Apostle Paul... No just kidding. I am not really someone who believes that we must find something spiritual in everything in order to be able to enjoy or live alongside the secular..okay maybe I am - But this has been useful to me.

May the Godhead be with you!

I've decided that every day is a holiday..

Having fun is soooo tiring

Having spent a few months hibernating due to cold, snow and rain (and quite frankly for the simple reason that it is not sunny), the hiatus has now taken its toll on our family life. We move from weekend to weekend in a blur of take-aways, naps, reality tv, work and washing.


So I have taken the advice of a wise lady who once suggested that if we wait for holidays to find us, they will never come. But if we have "holiday moments" every day or every few days, that will make the wait for the real holiday all the more bearable.


Holiday moments... taking a bus to a suburb we don't normally visit, going to London and walking through the narrow streets of the older parts, unencumbered by the need for a tourist guide or even any knowledge of the details of the history around us or going to the nearby park to watch the children play (albeit with their shoes on, which for a South-African is very strange!) or going up to Southgate (our little town centre) and buying an ice cream for Justin.


All these little things. Holiday moments. Memory moments.


Our memories are in our hands and so is our attitude. If we wait for life to take us along, we will be left behind as the last bus leaves for the night. 

Get on the bus, no, DRIVE the bus!