For a few days now (read: weeks) I have had a routine of getting into the bath, looking at my toes, seeing the peeling nail polish and scolding myself for not removing my chipped nail polish. Every day I tell myself what a terrible woman I am and how ugly it must look and how I wish that I was one of those women who looked after myself better. And I resolve that when I get out of the bath I will go and find the nail polish remover. Every. Day.
Last week I went through the same routine and heard that gentle whisper that only comes from the Holy Spirit that said: Well, obviously it doesn't bother you enough to actually take action and follow through.
It was such a simple thing, but like a lightning bolt it hit me: As I went through my journal of the last 2 years I had noticed week after week the same sins cropping up (mostly comfort-eating), the same action plans to fight it, the same pleading prayers to release me and deliver me from them, the same verses I was writing out to memorise.
Why didn't I conquer those sins in my life? - It obviously didn't bother me enough to take action and follow through.
You see, comfort eating has become my guilty pleasure, my "not-as-bad-as-his-or-hers"-sin. Whenever I want to eat I forget all those grand plans and convince myself that I would resist it the next time and that I "deserve" it. And I grieve the Holy Spirit whom I had begged so many times to help me, by "Shhh!"-ing His still small voice.
So, are there any sins in your life that you are molly-coddling (indulging, pampering, treating).
I am back at square one and trusting God to help me to hate even the small sins in my life enough to actually want Him to change them.
Join me. Time to get out the Nail Polish Remover.
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